A Randomly Selected Newspaper Headline:
The following is a randomly selected newspaper headline from many years ago:
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Friday, May 17, 2013
Gonna Be a Bear
I don't know the source for this except to say it was going around my Grandma's retirement complex.
"Gonna Be a Bear . . . .
"In this life I'm a woman. In my next life I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear you get to hibernate. You do nothing for six months. I could live with that.
"Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
"When you're a girl bear you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown cute, cuddly cubs. I could definately deal with that.
"If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat everyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line you swat them too. I could deal with that.
"If you're a bear your mate Expects you to wake up growling. He Expects that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. Yep, gonna be a bear!"